My goal for this blog is to get a Buddy Holly record…..and find someone with a record player. He has a good sound. I was watching this documentary on him. I really like Not fade away, peggy sue, and words of love is my favorite I like the sound of the drums, it gives it like an Island feel. So a lot has happened on entering back into society….that’s right I have been in hiding for the past month and you would think that I wouldn’t have a lot to talk about but the weird thing is that I have more things than normal to talk about. Also I wanted to blog it down before I start working like a mad women! That’s right I got a job, and one that I won’t hate…I think. It’s a portrait photographer! It’s the one that I really wanted and it took me having to go down there in person to get it but I guess that’s jus call being persistent. The lady wasn’t calling me back because her daughter jus had a kid and it was a month premature! And also she’s a nut she did the interview outside while smoking J Ok .First of all I had time to spend a lot of one on one time just me and Jesus and it got me back on track. He’s been telling me to wait but its so hard I want to go right now. Its been hard being home, I day dream just about every day that I’m somewhere else doing something else but I know that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. I got to see my brothers Tim and Jer in Atlanta! (I think I enjoy that city so much because I don’t realize how dangerous it is) I guess our roles are reversed because now Tim is going to try and travel as much as he can before he decides to stay with Delta or not and Jer is going to be heading to Europe for the winter. I’m real jealous! But again the only think I keep on hearing is ‘Wait’. It reminds me about how God waited till the last moment to tell me that I was staying in Hungary. Its silly to be worried or to focus so much on it because then you can’t give yourself fully to where you’re at. I keep being taught that over and over but it doesn’t seem to be sticking. Man, I want to stop running around in these stupid silly unhappy circles and that manufacture aimlessness. Today I played worship and my church it was good….I think I learned so much in Hungary. I’m less insecure and more trusting that God will come through. It was good to jus play guitar again. I talked to Jim about getting a rotation. I think Jamie might start playing and singing too. The only thing is that Jim’s talking about recording me…..I jus dunno. I do want to do more music stuff and want the songs I write to really speak to people. But I thought I’d start slow like get on a coffee shop circuit then think about recording stuff. Oh and I painted this new picture based on Is 58:12:
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I’m working on another one based on ‘you shall kno the truth and the truth shall set you free’. So that’s about all there is to my surfacy life. I miss a lot of people like Hungary people and California people and married people and long lost friends, so basically I love and miss you all. Oh yea I’ve been writing poetry lately here are some of my favorites:
Someday you will save the world
You brush your teeth
You save your dentist the trouble of using his drill
You drink a lot of milk
Saving your doctor a visit to cast a limb or two
You came to me
And you have saved my life
With your words
Your smile
Your way
Now I don’t have to wonder where you are
You saved me the trouble of the chase
I am a rebel a wreck
have dishes in the sink
My library books are all overdue
give the mail man a hard time
blow fuses
Wear socks with sandals
I am a renege a manic
Forgetting floss everyday
Listening to do-wap
Liking to Complain
I reuse my tea bag ya that’s right
So what do you have a problem with?
Why the long face?
Because chances are you wish you could break loose
So come on no one is looking
You’ve got no one to impress
Lets dance in this rain
You wont even feel wet
What do you want with me
You bring me to these places of desperation
I’m so hungry and thirsty
I need so much
Where are you now?
I feel so incomplete, like nothing I do will work
Like I’ll always be wandering looking searching
I told you I’d go anywhere
As long as you went with me
But where did you go?
Why did you lead me here?
What is it you’re doing?
My heart is broken and it bleeds terrible blackness
I can’t cure this sickness
I can’t heal the cut
You leave me wounded
But where else can I go?
Piano keys
Lying next to each other
Black
White
They sing sing sing sing
Making both hands
Dance dance dance dance
Move and flow
Be free
Don’t freeze
Exhale
