Some day I'll know

So I have to clean everything it all must be out.
All of a sudden in the mist of the rummaging of what should stay and what should go I find this strange connection between the present and some thing that is lost forever.
I found a pile of letters. One was from my old teacher but, now he's dead. It struck me like a message from the grave. I've only known a few people who have died and they have all always struck me a certain way. Its like they are the only people I don't think on often but can always remember clearly. Almost as if we spoke yesterday. Looking at the rest of the letters I wondered who was still alive. I wondered what I would say to them now if they were completely different or if a fragment of who I know is still there. That brings me to a second point of humanity that I can't ever understand and when I think about it I either get confused or sad. How you can know someone for so long share so much with them then slowly stop talking, stop knowing them. Then its almost as if as soon as you turn your back they are someone else. There hair is different, they are taller, their clothes completely different. Everything you once knew is gone but, where are THEY? Are they who they are now or where they who you knew or where they always there its just your perception was hiding their true self? What will happened when you stay with someone for your whole life? Do you change together or does one of you change to the other. Are things supposed to change by time not by decisions? Is that why we fight so much we are not supposed to change but time is supposed to change all? Or is life it's self supposed to change you? Or are you always there its just that situations bring you out?
What makes me sad is that the closeness is gone.
The saddest part is when it abruptly stops and no one says why or how.
Its like a senseless act we all play into; could we stop this if we wanted?

Dreams

I keep on dreaming about real life
Last night I was being chased on a train
Your family was trying to kill me
It was all so beautifully framed
I did not mind running for my life

A couple nights ago
I was driving
In the middle of my college campus
You told me you had problems
Getting inside
I never was so decisive
Kicking you out of my car

I might be taking a test
Or running past marathon runners
Last night it was strangers
nights ago it was reality meshed

Joy

I have walked through a long dark tunnel
BUT now I am surprised by this joy

I have made it from the depths to come back to the surface
treading on to where Subtlety lay

Through the thicket of my confusion
I take steps in the light

and my heart cannot help but to leap

I can not get out of my mind that one step closer is a step closer to home
One piece of ground not given is a step to never be retraced

I don't know

I was sitting under a tree
It was beautiful
all dressed in light
I was thinking
THEN suddenly it hit me
That I have been mulling over this idea
for two weeks
I have no idea who I am....BUT
I don't care.
Its started with Bren looking at me
and me saying(I got uncomfortable,
I have no answers I'm too preoccupied
with this pointless search) to Bren
"Are you trying to figure out what I am?"
He replied "No I'm just enjoying looking."
People try to put me somewhere and I let them
But I'm not This or That
I don't know Who I am
But I'm ok with that.

Day 5

Day four ended with going to a burrito place and then going back to Jeremiah's apartment to play go fish with Jeremiah's married friends Daniel and Tess. Jeremiah and I rode his scooter to and fro the burrito place which was quite impressive considering we were still traveling at the rate that it would have gone if it were solely Jer riding. He seemed quite pleasantly surprised at this fact and mentioned it a number of times that night.

Today on Day 5 Jeremiah got up very very early to go to work. Today was a some what epiphany type day for Jeremiah. It was the day that some us have to all go through at some point. The day when you discover You are Weird. It was somewhat funny to watch. Jer and I were at a pizza shop having lunch. I had told him numerous times before that he was weird but today he finally saw it himself. we talked about how normal people are content with boring or mediocar lives. It seems sad to those on the other side but really all the normal people don''t think they are missing out on anything. I think it's preference. Jer said he wished he was more normal because then he could get more done but I don't know if he would. It just seems like a trade of what you do some people spend their lives doing typical things at typical times and doing them the typical way. Others cannot be this way. So long for now....

Day 4

Hello All to caught up on day 3 and cover part of day 4.

So day 3 Jer went off to work pulling a double. Andy and I went to the Oakland cemetery. Then he bribed me with Cuban fruit to go food shopping. After that Jer came home and then took a nap. Then we went for a bike ride around five points. He made me get a souvenir at Rags-o-rama. It was an Asian scarf. Then we two bike to Tara's for mushroom burgers. After that we met up with his friend Ryan, who happened to go to the same Bible college as Jeremiah. I half listen to them discuss Religion and then Ryan discussed music with Andy. The night was fun and long. Jer disappeared for awhile talking to Tara about women because he left his wallet and cell phone in her car.

Day 4 was all about Tilt so far.....I woke up very late and had to take the bus to over where Paul works get off and bike a small distant to Jeremiah's place of employment called Tilt. I met James His manager, Shawn one of his co-workers, and Rich the scheme horse hand across the street. It was a slightly eventful morning/afternoon. We also met up with Catherine the art gallery intern. We looked at the gallery showing all on Danger. It was interesting because it featured art work from people all across the word but mostly the 50 states. After, work Jeremiah and I stood and talked about different life things over a world class cappuccino that he concocted then we decided to get going So here I am Jer is once again taking a nap. Ok good bye. for now.

Day 2

So today Jeremiah got up washed. He had breakfast with his friends and me. It was at a little joint in Atlanta called Rise and Dine. He had a small breakfast sandwich one of his friends gave him some potatoes before he left. He then took his other friends car and drove it home then scooted off to work. He worked until five then went to he farmer's market in Dekalb he seemed to enjoy it quite a bit. It was a huge grocery store that had organic food for very very low affordable prices. Apparently most of the workers are refugees from different countries. I picked up that it was because of the quality and price of the food. He picked up groceries for the week from the farmer's market. Then we joined one of his friends we had to leave at the coffee joint of his employment. We received some of the best iced tea I've had maybe ever and he shot him with a toy gun. We then got dropped off back at his apartment and he unloaded about some thoughts on life. This conversation was much of the continuation of one we had started on Sunday.

So while Jeremiah was at work I had time to spend with his room mate and friend Andy. This is some information I gathered about Andy and just information in general about social situations in young Jeremiah's life and about the city of Atlanta. Thomas Andy Deloche group up all of his life in Georgia. He had a strong Christian up bringing but has his doubt now about the religion and different enforced beliefs of what he described as an oppressive up bringing. He has been to Europe and different but has a strong love for Atlanta. Currently he is enrolled at Georgia State as a film major and works at a local coffee shop. He likes the movie Home Alone and being nosey.

What I gathered from him on Jeremiah's life is that Jeremiah is a gentleman when is comes to the ladies and is very conservative about them. Also He informed me on the whereabouts of our subject before he took off to Europe winter 08. Jeremiah and Andy met through a mutual friend and room mate named Troy. Jeremiah stayed with Andy and Troy before he left for Europe then their friendship grew when Jeremiah came back and started to stay with just Andy.

Another friend I've gotten to know over the past couple of days that Jeremiah hangs out with extensively is a girl named Tara. She likes close by to Jeremiah and Andy and used to be neighbors to both of them but now moved to around the corner. She did not give much information on Jeremiah but seems to get along well with him. She is enrolled in school in Atlanta. She likes Africa, free trade products and vegetables.

The night is young he took a nap and we are about to go to Tara's house to watch a movie. More to come later......