I am the girl from the caves...

I decided that this year it will be different and I couldn’t wait till januaray to write about it. All during the Christmas season I felt the change stirring inside me I need it I live off of things like change. Instead of constantly fighting who and what I decided was to embrace it. Not only embrace my differences but my differences with others. I always find it hard to let people be and to not be afraid to let things be. Fear has been at the heart of a lot of things in these past years. I have been so afraid to live and let live. Once I realized I know nothing at all it just made me scared to discover the beautiful things unbeknownst to me. I want to live like I live under my own little rock where everything is new yet not as one on an Island who gets savage and harsh from the loneness and who cannot be befriended but as one who has just woken up who wants to experience everything. Today I leave my Island not knowing fully what I have left and not fully knowing what I go towards but I know I must fight to enjoy every moment of the journey. Today I got assaulted with art a lot of the implications I know nothing about but I saw colors today from distance lands that I’ve never seen. The things from Iran are the most unique to me. Africa is wild and I can feel it through the art its untamed and holds the perception of never becoming ruled over. Whenever Greg would play drums I always thought that fast Rhythm was Africa’s heart beating in the Sahara. Oceaniana was wild but it felt disconnected like it was a small wild that could be over take but was always underlying like in the Caribbean. Those people stay ruled over but the hearts stay unmoved. Last night my eyes were so young but today they have seen much more. I think that the idea of resurrection is so beautiful. You die to come back more then what you were. This year I died very deeply but this coming year I live again.