Self taught flight

The air was warm.
It was thick with that sweet summer smell.
Like thousands of trees and flowers waking up from a long sleep.
Night was about to set it.
It was thick enough to send off an odor.
As my wings moved up and down in the setting sun I remembered that the air smelt like last summer.
In an instance, the essence of the summer was born again.
It was dark, so very dark.
I remembered most imagining things that I wanted,
a spot near the lake,
but so many other birds.
So many other birds.
I had barely made it through winter because of so many others.
Yet, as My wings stroked the night I felt something nagging my mind.
It was the sad realizations. The bitter memories I had made my home in through out the winter hoping my burst of anger would keep me warm.
It did but not with out the red hot flame burning all the love I had inside.
I had be circling.
I knew the truth now.
It was up to me to decide.
I could keep going the way I was and maybe, eventually I would get to that home by the lake where the sun seemed to linger an extra golden hour or so.
I knew if I kept going I would not be met with a hot flame that would light a forest on fire but something different. A big grey feeling called stale.
Stale was when the food looked the same felt the same but had the smell and taste of old. Stale could only be perceived in your mouth. Any thing with that grey hopeless feeling was sent away if the finder was wise. Some of the discoverers of stale did not perceive it's power so they left it alone only unknowingly to take over more then the original object.
That's where she was ragged, grey. Her bulging eyes watched me keenly. When I found the source she was frighten. Her wide eyes became larger. The smell had covered the sun set and rise only sometimes could the sun get through. All of her visitors stopped coming. I found the source. I lifted it from it unassuming place. She let out a defensive sound and in a instance she was there feathers up and ready.
"I just want this moved" I said.
"Oh" then a pause, "But you can't, it can't be moved."
I went to its place and placed in in my mouth then raised my head. Now we were eye level.
She gave me a fierce look yet, it seemed soft and hurt at the same instance like different colors radiating from a diamond.
"You need to leave" she screamed.
But I stayed unmoved.
"LEAVE ME NOW" She screeched.
In an instance the bird moved around swiftly moving the fog.
It took it away.
All I was left with was a broken mirror.
A tear fell on my reflection, it was a skinny brown bird with bulging eyes.

We talk of courage thinking, we are one singular being. Maybe equating courage with independence. Thinking courage but acting in perfection, never doing wrong by anyone or any thing. Really courage is a voice to truth. It is voicing what we know either deep down or at the moment to be true. Courage is the action of reaching out. Letting others know not only your abilities but also your limits. It is the best of you being discovered in others by admitting your worst to them. Excepting the fact that people are not the same and working through their issues with them while still working with yours. Courage is keeping your head up and being prepared for all hell to break lose. And when hell is on the lose to remember heaven and to still believe in it. It is to love despite the unknown, to move on despite the past. Courage is the heart behind the movement of putting that first foot forward. I'm learning these valuable lessons. Don't forget this brain.

To cut

I want to cut all my hair
I want to shave it off
But I fear the risks
being mistaken for a boy
cow licks
friend's disapproval

But worst of all:
it is winter and
my head being cold

New material

I could not see
for you were
blocking the view
Eventually I saw
what I was looking for






I stopped to care
then had no time to stop at all








Love is real
You could not contain it

My heart was true
even if you try to blame it

My tears I have stopped
So as not to profane it

thoughts

I am an open room
empty
ready to be filled






Will you fight for me?
Will you fight at all?
I map out my time
to spend it alone
locked away in my thoughts
What would you do
if you could be in my world
would you even know
i feel a strange isolation set in
like winter's first frost

Do you know what it's like to risk
and then lose?

Or do you just replicate sunshine
in the factory of time?

Living situation

Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do
I just really care

I think your ideas are great
Yes we should park our cars that way
and sure its a fabulous way
to clean the garbage disposal

I'm not trying to criticize
I just have a long pessimistic streak
Maybe I like to see things
from the wrong angle

I know you need to talk
but your time and my time
are not always the right times

Now I sit in my room
waiting for you to leave
I'm tired
It's a pain to be honest
to someone whose not honest with me

A summer day

I saw the sunrise break over the hills
Nothing was so beautiful
It turned into a bright summer day
As I sat pondering the deep blue
Something ran across the sky
I didn’t notice at first
Until the sunlight caught the brown
On the wing
He was different
Slender quick
Something in his eyes allured me
I flew as close to him as I could
He laughed at me for awhile
Then gently like a child asked
“Why don’t you come and join me
The sky is beautiful today
Your wings seem strong enough to sore”
“I would” I said frustrated
“See my bundle it is weighing me down”

“Just let it go”

There was an awkward pause.

“No, that’s alright I’ll just stay down here”
My eyes could not meet his anymore
He and I both knew

“What is it you are really looking for?”

The leaves from the trees were starting to change
It was my cue to change
I reasoned it out.
Someone who could say such things to me could not
Really want me around.